Indianapolis

I've been in Indianapolis since Saturday. The kids and I drove the 9 hours here and picked up my husband Saturday night. He had a three day leave from the military and we have had an amazing time. We have gone swimming, shopping, and even went to the Children's Museum of Indianapolis. When I download all the pictures, I'll post them over on the family blog.

Sadly, our time is winding down. With every passing minute we are brought closer to our final goodbye. I'm spending every minute trying not to cry, and I'm failing miserably.

I want to just grab him and take him home with me. But I know I just can't. The kids are in the next room crying over a game and not playing well together. To me, it's a sign of what I'm going to deal with over the next 10 months alone. How do I do it? No relief, no having Dad take them for a while, no man to punish them when they just won't listen to Mom. He won't be home to shovel snow, clean the cat box (he does this for me), fix the heater, lug the 40 pound bags of pellets into the house, fix broken toys, BBQ out on the grill, sit with me in church or hug me when I've had a bad day. Yes, I can and will do most of those things myself, but those last two can only be done by him.

How do I say goodbye to him tonight? How do I let him go and drive away? I'm watching him pack his things right now and it's more than I can bear.

So here's my request to each of you. Please pray for me. Pray for my sanity as I switch to single mom mode. Pray for my strength, my courage, my loneliness, my sadness. Pray for my children as they deal with no Dad around. Pray for my husband as he leaves in 6 days to fly to Afghanistan. Most importantly, pray that during this time, my husband, my children and I grow closer to the Lord and can learn to wholeheartedly rely upon Him.

2 Corinthians 1:9 Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.