Friday, March 12, 2010

Happy 10th Anniversary

Tuesday night I spent a good hour scanning wedding pictures and uploading them to facebook. Why you may ask? Because I wanted my husband to have a little reminder of our wedding on our anniversary.

Wednesday, March 10th was our 10th anniversary. I spent the day working at my church and Seth started the day in Kyrgyzstan (don't ask me to pronounce that) and ended his day in Afghanistan. We did manage to chat online with each other for about 20 minutes around 10 am my time, 9 pm Kyrgyzstan time. He sent me a beautiful bouquet of tulips that are next to me right now.

Prior to the 10th I expected to be miserable. I wanted to sulk and cry that I was spending my 10th alone. But God knows more than me and he provided a way for me to not be miserable. Our church secretary was out this week and I filled in for her. I packed up the kids school books and my laptop and had them do school while I worked in the office. My mind was distracted enough that I didn't have time to feel down or depressed. Going to sleep that night was a different story, but not as painful as I thought it would be, much the same as any night.

I'm learning to look at the positive side of things. Seth and I were able to chat for 20 minutes when we had previously thought we weren't going to be able to talk at all. He sent me beautiful tulips which I was not (totally) expecting. We did have an early celebration while we were in Indiana where I received a beautiful necklace and gave him several presents. Many friends wished me a happy anniversary and I spent the day surrounded by friends while I worked at church.

On a side note, I did get a chance to talk to Seth this morning. It was the first time chatting with him since Wednesday morning and
the first time speaking on the phone since Sunday night. He arrived safely on his base in Afghanistan but doesn't have his permanent living quarters or internet access yet. So we have a little while longer of minimal contact before he gets his room and internet for his laptop, after that I'm hoping to be able to communicate with him almost every day. We'll see how well that goes! ;)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


I've been in Indianapolis since Saturday. The kids and I drove the 9 hours here and picked up my husband Saturday night. He had a three day leave from the military and we have had an amazing time. We have gone swimming, shopping, and even went to the Children's Museum of Indianapolis. When I download all the pictures, I'll post them over on the family blog.

Sadly, our time is winding down. With every passing minute we are brought closer to our final goodbye. I'm spending every minute trying not to cry, and I'm failing miserably.

I want to just grab him and take him home with me. But I know I just can't. The kids are in the next room crying over a game and not playing well together. To me, it's a sign of what I'm going to deal with over the next 10 months alone. How do I do it? No relief, no having Dad take them for a while, no man to punish them when they just won't listen to Mom. He won't be home to shovel snow, clean the cat box (he does this for me), fix the heater, lug the 40 pound bags of pellets into the house, fix broken toys, BBQ out on the grill, sit with me in church or hug me when I've had a bad day. Yes, I can and will do most of those things myself, but those last two can only be done by him.

How do I say goodbye to him tonight? How do I let him go and drive away? I'm watching him pack his things right now and it's more than I can bear.

So here's my request to each of you. Please pray for me. Pray for my sanity as I switch to single mom mode. Pray for my strength, my courage, my loneliness, my sadness. Pray for my children as they deal with no Dad around. Pray for my husband as he leaves in 6 days to fly to Afghanistan. Most importantly, pray that during this time, my husband, my children and I grow closer to the Lord and can learn to wholeheartedly rely upon Him.

2 Corinthians 1:9 Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.